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English reading practice - What the Flonk? (B1/B2 intermediate level English)

If you ever find yourself walking through the pretty landscape of the Waveney Valley in England and find a group of people with a wet dishcloth throwing it at each other, you might have found one of the most eccentric and funny folk traditions known to humankind – Dwile Flonking. So, put on your wellies and prepare for a fun journey into the lovely world of Waveney Valley Dwile Flonking!


Dwile Flonking's history is as playful as the game itself. It's said to have been born in the 1960s as a cheeky response to the seriousness of British life. Picture this: a circle of revellers, a "dolly" (a wooden pole), and a dwile (a dishcloth) dripping with ale. The objective? To spin that soggy dwile like a merry-go-round and hurl it toward the opposing team while they dance in a circle.


But Dwile Flonking is more than a game; it's an art form. The people taking part dress in elaborate costumes, adopt playful personas and embrace the weird spirit of the event. The dwile, drenched in liquid, becomes an unsure and difficult to see missile. As it flies through the air laughter is the most important thing. It is said that the rules of the game are difficult to understand and the result is always argued. But I will try to explain them to you.


The non-throwing team are called girters and they must join hands and dance in a circle around a member of the throwing team. The thrower is called a flonker. They dip their dwile-tipped "driveller" (a pole 2–3 ft long and made from hazel or yew) into a bucket of beer, then spins around in the opposite direction to the girters and flonks or flicks his dwile at them.



If the dwile misses completely it is known as a "swadge". When this happens, the flonker must drink the contents of an ale-filled chamber pot before the wet dwile has passed from hand to hand along the line of now non-girting girters chanting the ceremonial mantra of "pot pot pot".


A full game comprises of two "snurds", each snurd being one team taking a turn at girting. The referee adds interest and difficulty to the game by switching the direction of rotation without warning and will give drinking penalties to any player found not taking the game seriously enough.


Points are awarded as follows:

+3: a "wanton" - a direct hit on a girter's head

+2: a "morther" - a body hit

+1: a "ripper" - a leg hit

-1 per sober person at the end of the game


Waveney Valley is home to some of the most eager Dwile Flonkers, and the tradition is often celebrated at local fairs, festivals, and gatherings. The game draws spectators and participants from all walks of life, bringing them together looking for fun and laughter.


So, if you ever find yourself in the beautiful Waveney Valley, keep an eye out for a Dwile Flonking event. Whether you choose to take part or simply watch in amazement, you'll be caught up in a whirlwind of cheerfulness and weirdness.


Join the ranks of the Flonkers, embrace the madness, and let the soaked dishcloth carry you away on a wave of laughter. In the Waveney Valley, Dwile Flonking isn't just a game; it's a reminder that sometimes, the best adventures are found in the most unexpected places. Come, be a part of this wonderfully wacky tradition!


Check your understanding

  1. What is the origin of Dwile Flonking, and why was it created in the 1960s?

  2. How is Dwile Flonking played, and what are the roles of the girters and flonkers?

  3. What happens when a dwile misses its target in Dwile Flonking, and what is the consequence for the flonker?

  4. What is the significance of the different point values awarded in Dwile Flonking, and how are points calculated during the game?

  5. How does the community in Waveney Valley embrace the tradition of Dwile Flonking, and where can you typically witness or participate in this unique game?

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Vocabulary
  1. Dwile Flonking: A folk game that involves throwing a wet dishcloth (dwile) at members of an opposing team. It is known for its eccentric and humorous nature.

  2. Revellers: People who are celebrating or enjoying themselves at an event or festivity.

  3. Dolly: In the context of Dwile Flonking, a wooden pole used in the game.

  4. Art form: An activity or practice that is considered a form of artistic expression or creative endeavour.

  5. Dwile: A dishcloth, typically soaked with ale in the context of Dwile Flonking.

  6. Girters: The non-throwing team in Dwile Flonking, who join hands and dance in a circle.

  7. Flonker: The person on the throwing team who hurls the wet dishcloth (dwile) at the girters.

  8. Driveller: A pole, typically 2-3 feet long and made from hazel or yew, used to propel the dwile.

  9. Swadge: In Dwile Flonking, when the dwile misses its target completely.

  10. Chamber pot: A container traditionally used as a toilet, which, in this context, is filled with ale for a particular consequence.

  11. Snurds: A term used to describe the segments or rounds of a Dwile Flonking game, where each team takes a turn at girting.

  12. Referee: The person responsible for overseeing the game and adding interest and difficulty by making unexpected changes, such as switching the direction of rotation.

  13. Wanton: a term referring to a direct hit on a girter's head, which is awarded three points.

  14. Morther: A term signifying a body hit and worth two points.

  15. Ripper: A term meaning a leg hit that earns one point.

  16. Sober person: an individual who is not consuming alcohol during the game, and a penalty of minus one point is given for each of them at the end of the game.

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