If you ever find yourself strolling through the picturesque landscape of the Waveney Valley in England and stumble upon a group of folks armed with wet dishcloths, you've likely encountered one of the most eccentric and uproarious folk traditions known to humankind – Dwile Flonking. So, put on your wellies and prepare for a rollicking journey into the delightful world of Waveney Valley Dwile Flonking!
Dwile Flonking's history is as whimsical as the game itself. It's said to have been born in the 1960s as a cheeky response to the seriousness of British life. Picture this: a circle of merrymakers, a "dolly" (a wooden pole), and a dwile (a dishcloth) dripping with ale. The objective? To spin that soggy dwile like a whirligig and hurl it toward the opposing team while they dance in a circle.
But Dwile Flonking is more than a game; it's an art form. Participants dress in flamboyant costumes, adopt playful personas, and embrace the zany spirit of the event. The dwile, drenched in liquid, becomes an unpredictable and elusive projectile. As it sails through the air, the world seems to momentarily abandon reason, and laughter reigns supreme.
It is said that the rules of the game are impenetrable and the result is always contested. But I will try to explain them to you.
The non-throwing team are called girters and they must join hands and dance in a circle around a member of the throwing team. The thrower is called a flonker. They dip their dwile-tipped "driveller" (a pole 2–3 ft long and made from hazel or yew) into a bucket of beer, then spins around in the opposite direction to the girters and flonks or flicks his dwile at them.
If the dwile misses completely it is known as a "swadge". When this happens, the flonker must drink the contents of an ale-filled chamber pot before the wet dwile has passed from hand to hand along the line of now non-girting girters chanting the ceremonial mantra of "pot pot pot".
A full game comprises of two "snurds", each snurd being one team taking a turn at girting. The referee adds interest and difficulty to the game by randomly switching the direction of rotation and will levy drinking penalties on any player found not taking the game seriously enough.
Points are awarded as follows:
a direct hit on a girter's head is called a "wanton" - +3 points
a body hit is called a "morther" - +2 points
a leg hit is called a "ripper" - +1 point
-1 point per sober person at the end of the game
The Waveney Valley is home to some of the most enthusiastic Dwile Flonkers, and the tradition is often celebrated at local fairs, festivals, and gatherings. The game draws spectators and participants from all walks of life, uniting them in the pursuit of hilarity.
So, if you ever find yourself in the enchanting Waveney Valley, keep an eye out for a Dwile Flonking event. Whether you choose to participate or simply watch in amazement, you'll be swept up in a whirlwind of mirth and eccentricity. Join the ranks of the Flonkers, embrace the madness, and let the soaked dishcloth carry you away on a wave of laughter. In the Waveney Valley, Dwile Flonking isn't just a game; it's a reminder that sometimes, the most extraordinary adventures are found in the most unexpected places. Come, be a part of this wonderfully wacky tradition!
Check your understanding
What is Dwile Flonking, and where can you typically encounter this unusual folk tradition?
When and why did Dwile Flonking originate, and how does it reflect a cheeky response to British seriousness?
What are the key elements of a Dwile Flonking event, including the role of participants, their attire, and the soaked dwile?
Can you explain the basic rules and objectives of Dwile Flonking, including the roles of "girters" and "flonkers"?
How are points awarded in a game of Dwile Flonking, and how does the referee add challenge and amusement to the game?
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Vocabulary
Waveney Valley: a picturesque region in England known for its scenic landscapes and natural beauty. I lived here for 20 years
Eccentric: unconventional, unusual, or quirky, often in a charming or amusing way.
Humankind: all of humanity, or the entire human race.
Wellies: a colloquial term for Wellington boots, which are waterproof rubber or plastic boots commonly worn in wet or muddy conditions.
Dwile: a dishcloth or cloth used for cleaning dishes.
Ale: an alcoholic beverage, often beer, made by brewing and fermenting grains, usually malted barley, and flavoured with hops.
Whirligig: a spinning or twirling object, often used as a toy.
Impenetrable: difficult to understand or extremely complex.
Girters: "Girters" are participants in Dwile Flonking who join hands and dance in a circle.
Flonkers: "Flonkers" are the throwers of the dwile in the game of Dwile Flonking.
Driveller: A "driveller" is a pole, typically 2-3 feet long and made from hazel or yew, used in Dwile Flonking to propel the soaked dwile.
Swadge: In Dwile Flonking, a "swadge" is when the dwile misses completely.
Chamber Pot: a pot or container historically used for urination and other sanitary purposes indoors.
Ceremonial Mantra: a repeated phrase or chant used in a formal or ritualistic context.
Snurds: a turn or round in a Dwile Flonking game, with each team taking their turn at girting.
Referee: a person responsible for enforcing the rules of the game and ensuring fair play.
Levy: to impose or collect, often referring to penalties or fees.
Wanton: a term used for a direct hit on a girter's head.
Morther: a term used for a body hit in the game.
Ripper: a term used for a leg hit.
Sober: not under the influence of alcohol or other intoxicating substances.
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